Yes, Mummy, dear
by wildcomets
Summary: A mysterious lady comes knocking at Shigure's door, only to reveal that she's Kyou's mother...but wait a minute...ain't she dead? Kyou's POV...RR plz! Thanx!
1. Confusion about the one from the misty f...

AN: What happens if I post this...heh...heh...?  


YES, MUMMY, DEAR...  


A tale of Souma confusion...

  
Prologue: The one from the misty forest...

The winds were howling its raging song. Trees were bending as if they were rubber. Yet, Shigure's house still stands. And a woman, wearing a raincoat to keep out the rain, walked to his doorstep, and knocked. Slowly. Once. Twice. Thrice. She heard footsteps. Coming down the stairs. Footsteps coming closer to the door. And the door slid to the side, revealing a wiry teen with bright orange hair. He looked a her. She looked back.

Then, she broke into a sudden outburst and cried:

"KYOU!!!" And hugged him till he choked.

This female ain't Kagura.

She's Kyou's mum.  


Chapter 1: Confusion about the one from the misty forest...

"SAVE ME!!" I cried. Then I noticed something. I haven't turned into a cat. God dammit! It must be Kagura! But it certainly didn't sound like Kagura...to hell with it...just run, fool! So I ran. Ran straight into Yuki. He probably heard the knocking, too.

"Baka neko." Yes, his only comment. Stupid calm mouse...I straigtened my soaking T-shirt and brushed the Yuki-germs off my khakis. And then I looked up and glared.

"Excuse me, may I ask who you are?" Yuki asked stranger-who-doesn't-talk-like-Kagura-but-might-as-well-be. She just stepped into the house, dripping, took off her rain coat, and cried.

"Yuki?! Is that you?! My, my, you have grown!!!" She gave Yuki a very hard hug. Now it's his turn to be confused.

"Huh?" You should have seen the look on his face...the lady shook her head and smiled. On closer inspection, she looked older than us, probably twenties, but her brown eyes told me she was older. She had long, silky orangy hair, and was of slender build, but her Indiana Jones style clothes made her look like some tough, adventure woman. She didn't even look Japanese, but she did pronounce our names very, very well.

"Don't you boys remember me...no wait, I left when you both were just bairns..." she scratched her head. "Oh well, I'll just tell you. I'm Laina Souma, Kyou's mother. Didn't you ever know he was a Eurasian?"

Now, you would expect me to scream and shout and run around in circles. But no. The first thing I did was faint.

AN: A story that will fulfill my mental blocks. If you really really want to, I will continue. Or else...


	2. Family affairs, gruel with shallots & 5h...

AN: I couldn't bother...but...

Chapter 2: Family affairs, gruel with shallots & 5hrs of complements.

It took me a day to regain consciousness. In fact when I woke up, I was in a hospital bed in a private room. And that woman was there.

"ARGH!!!!" I leapt out the bed and tried to run for it again, except that woman grabbed me and held me down with her iron grip. Ouch...

"You've been unconscious for a day already," she said looking oh-so-sincere. I wasn't impressed by that. "You should rest and regain your energy..." She actually looked truly sincere...but I wasn't fooled. I live with Shigure.

"No I'm not! I'm gonna leave, and..." I couldn't exactly move...I was too tired...dang it. "...alright...maybe I can't go...but someone can pick me up..."

"Just stay still..." She tried to hold me down. I backed off.

"No! Don't come near me!"

"Kyou? You woke up!" Tohru came into the room. She had that cute smile on her face and...*sigh*...anyway, she came over to my bed. "We were so worried! Your mother stayed with you the whole time! She didn't sleep a wink!"

"She ain't my mother. My mother is dead." I said bluntly. Tohru was shocked.

"Kyou! Don't say such things! Your mother is right here!"

"No! She's not my mother! My mother is dead! She died because of me!!"

"WHAT?! So is that what that little brat said..." Laina said, punching her fists, growling. "...Akito...I'll get you...and I'll chop you into shreds of chicken jerky, finely spiced..." Tohru was shocked again.

"That's not nice!" then she changed her expression into something sinister. "...of course, I don't mind..."she whispered "He's always so mean to Yuki..."

"What the hell is going on?! Look, I'm the confused one here! My mum is supposed to be dead, but then some woman claims to be her! WHAT IN THE LORD'S NAME IS GOING ON?!!!" I shouted at the top of my voice. Then I just got tired 'cos of all that effort just to scream...not good, I need to work out more...

"Now calm down, squirt..."

"Squirt?!"

"...I don't know what that bird-brat Akito said to everyone, BUT I AM NOT DEAD!!! And he knows that. In fact I went on a trip straight after I felt you could be left with others. I went on a trip to find the method in making a talisman that will make the Souma curse ineffective..." Laina reached for her neck and pulled at an exotic looking necklace of some sort. It was pretty, but I ain't gonna let anyone know that I think that.

"It's so plain."

"Shut up, boy. Anyway, I found the method, and I could make that talisman. This is it. Notice why I can hug you and nothing happened? It's this talisman. The problem is it's hard to find the things needed to make it these days..." She handed me the necklace. I looked at it and fingered the intricate designed. "You can keep it, Kyou, I made it for you. It can protect you even from that beast you may become, it's better than that bracelet." Then it hit me. She knew about the beast. That I could become one. And my bracelet..."

"How did you know...?" I was stunned. She just shrugged.

"I'm your mum. I should know these things."

"M-me...?" I stuttered. Tohru looked at the both of us. She broke into that smile of hers...*sigh*...

"Well, you both surely look similar...like the brown eyes, and the hair, they're just different shades of orange..." she commented. Now that I look at Laina, I notice that her eyes were the same colour as mine. But that could be just a coincidence. Yet, her knowing my secret definitely was not. Could she really be my mother...?

"You still don't believe me..." Laina sighed. "Well, I would blame you after all that bull that chicken-turd-Akito created..."

"You like to diss Akito a lot, don't you?" I asked her. She looked at me in a matter-of-fact way.

"What do you think? Don't you wanna choke that brat into cheese strings?"

"Yeah...but don't tell him I said that..." I whispered to her. She grabbed me and gave me a noogie.

"Of course not, we're allies in this together. And I'm your mother, even if I *cough* loved that little punk, I wouldn't tell him."

"You're not gonna give up on this whole mother thing, are you?"

"No."

"Well, since you're so persistent...I guess we can trial this mother-son thing..." And seeing she's so tough, she might fill up for the father position, too...So why am I changing my mind about this whole affair? Well, I gues since I've been deprived all my life, I might as well try it, and see what it's like. To actually have a parent. Of course, I didn't count on her trying to make up for all these lost years and overdoing the whole thing...

***

We got home, and the first thing I did was go to bed, still tired from my lost of consciousness. I flopped onto my bed like the lazy cat I secretly really am. Yes, I may really work hard and everything, but it's...all...FAKE!!! HAHA...Ahem. Yeah, I only wanna beat Yuki and actually get accepted into the family. The whole thing about banishment and so on is sooo old, but no, traditions are IN in the Souma house. I mean, check out that Shigure. Perfect example. Let's start with that kimono...

"Kyou! I'm bringing you food!!" Now, since I really am tired, I didn't noticed that the voice wasn't Tohru, but Laina, my "mum". This needed getting used to.

"Now, sweetie, sit up and I'll spoon feed you." She knelt down next to my futon. I could have jumped in fright.

"No! I'm too old to be spoon fed! Anyway, what's with the 'sweetie', now? Wasn't it 'boy', or 'squirt'...?"

"Shut up, sit up, boy. Or else..." and squinted her eyes. Scary woman...

"Okay." I said and sat up immediately. I swear, Mum could pass as a dictator of some sort. She's got it, her bark is worse than her bite. I was spoon fed the gruel she made, it wasn't bad tasting gruel, but there were traces of shallots...I felt my head spin.

"Shallots...die..." I squeaked.

"Shoosh up, shallots are good for you." I finished the bowl of gruel. "Now I want you to get better, and then we can go Akito-bashing. I have to deal with that brat...but not until you're better."

"I'm old enough to look after myself...you can just go..."

"NO! I WILL LOOK AFTER YOU!!!" Then she laughed, rubbing her hands together. I raised an eyebrow.

"Is this becoming an obsession?" I asked plainly.

"Yes." For some reason, I actually expected that answer.

***

Laina exited Kyou's room. She slide the door close, then walked down the stair, and into the the kitchen, placing the bowl into the sink. Shigure entered.

"Laina, so how is he?" he asked. Laina shrugged.

"Well, he's fine, just needs rest, that's all. This time, though, I'm gonna be there for him." Laina turned on the taps. "Shigure, did that chicken-arse Akito tell everyone that I was dead?"

"Basically. He managed to get Hatori to wipe everyone's minds of the time you left, and he told them you died. He even made a funeral and all. Only Hatori, Ayame, and I remember, 'cos Hatori couldn't stand wiping our minds. We may have been so young, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday." Shigure explained. Laina clenched her fists.

"I'll get him...Kyou has always been shunned because he's a cat, and a monster, but Akito made life for him worse, and influenced people to support that. Akito will pay..." Laina growled. Shigure laughed.

"You growl better than me." Shigure said. Laina flapped in flattery.

"Of course, I've learned much in my trip. Hey...so is there a missus in this house?" Shigure pretended to look forlorn at the question.

"Nope...unfortunately, I'm still a bachelor, and aging quickly..."

"Oh no you're not, you still look like a twenty year old, you freak."

"Well, you still look like what you did when you left. Not even a wrinkle in sight."

"Oh shucks, but you've grown tall, and wiry..."

"No, slender, use the correct term..."

"Okay then, slender...and you look successful to Shigure, especially your romance novels..."

"Of course typically..."

They went on complementing each other for a full five hours.

AN: Okay, people reckon it would be good fun, so I decided to load another chapter. This one ain't as good, but the action hasn't, yet. Secure them seatbelts ;-)

Next chap soon...why don't you read my other fics, or go to my site http://www.geocities.com/wildcomets where all my original stuff is there, and my drawings, too (don't worry, my pictures aren't horrendous, I reckon I can make a career out of drawing manga.)


	3. Akito gets his arse kicked

AN: Ho di hum.

Chapter 3: Akito gets his arse kicked

The next morning I was still bedridden, but Mum came and feed me again. With that friggin' gruel.

"Ma! I'm better now! Stop giving me this stuff!"

"Just shut up and eat! We went through this yesterday!"

"But it's got shallots..." I whined. Thank god Yuki wasn't here, or else it will be the end of me. He'll spread rumours around...Kyou whining...ugh...

"There, now that wasn't so bad..." Mum said as she finished spoonfeeding me. I was as red as a beetroot, maybe redder, and I swear, I would forever worship the heavens for not letting ANYONE else be here. But I hafta say, I feel damn better. Mum took the bowl and slid the door open.

"Well, I'm goin' Akito-bashing today, so if you need something ask Shigure, okay?" She was about to walk out, but I stopped her.

"Wait! I'm going with you!" I scrambled out of my futon, and stood up, trying to look better.

"Are you sure? Do you feel well enough?" She looked concerned.

"Yeah." I wanted to be there when she'll cruse Akito. But I actually wanted to be there more because I was worried on what could happen when she does curse Akito to hell. Mum smiled.

"Okay then! Let's go and whip that arse of Akito's!" So we went straight after.

***

There we were, at the big...whopping big...Souma house. Fun. (Notice my sarcasm)

"Okay, then, enter we shall!" And Mum kicked the heavy wooden gate doors opened. And I stood there with my mouth opened in awe.

"Crap." was all I could say. Mum saw me stunned, and waved her arm at me, making me enter. I'm usually not allowed to enter, but Mum was so scary, I'd rather Akito to kill at the time rather than Mum.

"Come on!" She said as she plunged further into the friggin' village-sized "house". I followed of course, and saw that Mum was stomping to Akito's house as fast as she could. I swore I saw smoke coming out of her ears. And then there was Akito's sliding door, right in front of her face. She slide it opened, only the force she exerted was so strong that the door flew right across the room, smashing into smithereens once it hit the wall. The wall was also smashed. Talk about the insurance required.

"AKITO!!! GET YOUR FAT-CHICKEN-ARSE OUT HERE THIS MINUTE!!!" Mum shouted, and I swear, the house shook. Really.

"Er...Mum..."

"Ssh, Kyou, lemme handle this..." She hushed me. Can't fight this woman. Too strong. "AKIIIITOOOO!!!!"

"WHAT?!" said Akito inelegantly, walking into the room. Then he retained his calmness. "I mean...yes?" Then he saw Mum standing there, hands on hips, tapping one foot, and frowning. "Laina? It is you! Welcome back..."

"Enough bullshitting, Akito. I know everything. You told everyone I was dead." Mum actually walked up to him and poked him several times in the chest while spitting and cursing. Such bravery. Akito looked upset at being accused. But we all know him. World's greatest faker.

"I never! I wouldn't do such a thing! Why would I do that to my dearest friend...?" He took Mum's hand and stroked it. Instead, she used her stroked hand and crushed his stroking hand. Now I was getting a little worried. Akito can throw a tantrum at anytime, and his ear-piercing scream wasn't pleasant. Naturally. Man, did my ears ring with pain...

"Gee, Akito, your hands are still as weak as ever...you're so unfit. No wonder you're always ill..."

"Hah, Laina, no matter how much stronger you are than I am...I am always capable of destroying you...like I did before..."

"You monster! I could destroy you anytime, and everyone would be better off!" Mum screamed. Akito laughed.

"Hah, I dare you..." He took out a dagger, and laid it in Mum's hand. He edged closer, and pointed at his heart. "Right here. You now I don't want to stay here." I hafta say...this is weird behaviour. But, hey, Akito IS weird! Fortunately, Mum with strained herself.

"I don't kill, Akito, and I know you know that, or else you wouldn't have given the dagger..." She threw it aside. "As much as you want people to think, you're not sick. Just a wanabe."

"Fine. I'll kill you." Akito tried to strike Mum, but she stepped aside, grabbed him, and head locked him.

"Hah! Take that! And that!" She cried, tightening her grip. Akito waved his arms around like a headless chicken, gasping for air.

"Le'go...let go...!" He rasped. Actually, if it wasn't for the shock and surprise of the occasion, it was actually quite funny. By this time, Hatori, who heard the racket, ran in and saw a pale green Akito in a headlock, with Laina Souma choking him to death.

"Laina! Stop!" He ran over and tried to pry Mum's arms off Akito. Akito fell to the ground with a thump, and man, did he breath that air or what...while Mum here is still trying to reach out and choke him.

"Lemme at him...lemme at him!!!" She said, trying to get out of Hatori's grasp.

"Laina, calm down!" Hatori said.

"No! He lied about me! He made Kyou suffer!" Mum said, slowly giving up on trying to get out of Hatori's grasp. Then she looked up and glared at Akito. And grinned evilly. "I'll make sure he'll be accepted. He's more worthy then you are..." She pushed Hatori aside, and grabbed my arm. I yelped. It was painful...painful grip...

"Come on, Kyou, let's go..." She dragged me outside. And she opened up a note.

"Ma, where did you get that from...?"

"Hatori, he slipped it to me when he was stopping me from killing Akito...it says...'Don't worry, Kazuma took care of him after you left. Unfortunately, his memory was also wiped.' Kazuma...I remember him...had a grandpa or something that was also cursed, he told me."

"He's my master in martial arts, and I love him like a father, but not worthy enough to call him one..." I said. Suddenly, Mum broke out into tears. "Mum! What's wrong...?"

"That was so beautiful!!! I hafta to find Kazuma...I hafta thank him!!!" Oh bother. In this state? No. Not likely. I'm not taking her to Kazuma like this. No way. However, too late. She grabbed me, and dragged me to Kazuma's dojo. Unfortunately for him, he was there. And Mum leapt on him.

"KAZUMA!!! REMEMBER ME?! I WANNA THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF KYOU!!!" She wailed. Kazuma looked both shocked and confused.

"Wha...who are you?" He asked, blinking. I walked over to Mum, who was dangling off Kazuma.

"Memory. Wiped. Remember?" I whispered to her.

"That's right..." She said, walking over to a corner, then started to empty her pockets from her khaki shirt and shorts, leaving a very large pile of strange items and junk in front of her. How she could fir it all in? One could only wonder.

"Ma...what are you doing...maybe we should leave now...you know we can't reverse it..."

"Shaddup, I got everything under control..." She took out a bottle "Aha! Found it!"

"Er...Kyou, who is this person...? A new friend?" Kazuma asked me. I shrugged.

"You may say that." Mum poked me.

"Come on, hold this." She shoved a glass cup into my hand, and pour some of the contents of the bottle into it. "Okay, Kazuma, open your mouth." Kazuma looked at me strangely, and seeing that I'm indifferent (actually I was really confused...) he opened his mouth, and mum poured in the contents...down the gullet they went...and then....CLICK!...Kazuma remembered all.

"Laina? But...I don't get it...there is one memory of you leaving...then another of your funeral..."

"Your memory was wiped. Akito's dealing. Always his dealing. Idiot..." Mum glared at an invisible Akito. Kazuma just looked confused. It's kinda funny.

"Wiped? Why though?"

"How would I know? He wants to get rid of me? That's all I could come up with." Mum said, as she scratched her head. "But right now, I don't care, I just wanna take care of Kyou, and that's it."

"There is a slight problem." Kazuma said calmly. I paused. I knew what was coming...

"What, Kazuma?" Mum asked.

"While you were supposedly 'dead', I adopted him. Legally."

"Ah, crap...now I hafta think..." Mum walked around, flopping her hands up and down, and groaning. Then she stopped, and on her face was the most sneakiest look. "But if you are his father, legally...why is he not LIVING with you?"

"Because he feels he needs to be more worthy to call me father. He wants to train more."

"Jeez...that's really modest..."

"Mum..." I poked her. That is probably the first time anyone sarcastically called Kazuma "modest". It was really embarrassing...

"Well..." Mum snatched me and chucked me over her shoulder, while I, on the other hand, has given up on this woman. She has too much authority...for God's sake, she my _mother_. Of course there'll be overwhelming authority. But I would do anything just to get out off here, and go home, and sit on the roof, and -

YOINK!  


"VisitanytimeKazumaI'lljusttakehimsinceheain'tlivingwithyousoseeya!I'llcontactsoonaboutthismatter!" Mum managed to say in one mouth full as she ran as fast as she could. In case you unjumble that it was:

"Visit anytime Kazuma I'll just take him since he ain't living with you so see ya! I'll contact soon about this matter!"

There. That looked so much better.

***

Mum managed to run all the way home. And she wasn't puffin or anything. Jeez, I want that energy. I think Akito would, too, considering how unfit he is...and Shigure, that lazy bastard. Really, I think he should quit smoking...and so does Hatori! Now he really needs to quit, considering he is DOCTOR, and shouldn't doctors set a example of good health to society?!

Anyway, back to the subject. So, we were back home and everything, and Tohru was there, and Shigure, too. And...unfortunately...Yuki was ALSO there. Damn.

"Heard you caused a commotion at the Souma house." Shigure said as welcome to us.

"Yeah, I showed Akito."

"Erm...Laina...you do know the whole truth of Akito...right...?" Both mum and I looked confused. Considering that I'm a cursed one, I'm never let into any full detail about this wretched curse. Why? 'Cos I'm the friggin' "outsider". Oh no, Kyo shoudn't be let into anything, 'cos he's that stupid cat...Damn fools.

"What truth?" Both me and Mum asked at the same time. Shigure went to Laina, and pulled her out of the room into the garden. That meant I wasn't supposed to find out. It's just not fair. Must be 'cos I'm that bloody stupid cat. Gawd...this whole "stupid cat" stereotype is really sinking in...

AN: Another end to another chap. This one is the serious so far. Oh well. Next Chap SOON!!!


End file.
